Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Saturday, 26 May 2007

image for Rosie O'Donnell Leaves The View Early for the WWWF's Friday Night Smack Down
The View in training to take on Rosie in a WWWF Smack Down Show Down

Hollywood, California - In a prepared statement to the media, ABC announced today that Rosie O'Donnell would not be returning to the View. It was at her request to be released from her one-year contract just short a few weeks of it expiring in mid June, according to the statement.

"The request came two days after Wednesday's confrontation with pregnant conservative co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck and after her unexpected appearance on the show Friday," a Rosie critic pointed out. "Instead of next Tuesday as announced by Barbara Walters yesterday."

Rosie's people, however, insist her request was totally unrelated to Wednesday's incident but rather so she could be free to signup with the WWWF.

"We are very satisfied that Rosie has decided to sign with us," said a spokesperson from the WWWF.

Rosie is said to be relived that she has found a job that she can get out her aggressions and remain as outspoken as ever. Rosie joyfully signed on for a two-year contract and will be wrestling under the name of "I Rockn' MC Rosie."

It is rumored that her first guest she will be taking to the mat will be none other than Elisabeth Hasselbeck of The View, to show there is no hard feeling between them. But some say it's a rematch after Wednesday's confrontation.

Hasselbeck is going against the advice of her pediatrician because of her pregnancy but insists her training and experience she received on the reality show, Survivor, will see her through -- That and a pair of industrial earplugs.

"Essentially Rosie will be assuming the same duties she did as anchor on The View, taking center ring as Master of Ceremonies, wrestling non-professional opponents in a no-holds-bared exposition fight with the guests that hold an opposing point of view than hers," said a WWF representative.

"Except, they will occur only once a week instead of five days a week," continued the WWF representative. "Oh, and while she espouses her diatribe in a vain attempt to convince members of the audience, as well as viewers at home, of her point of view, they get a chance to vote whether or not they agree or disagree with her."

At the end of the evening the votes are tallied up, and if she manages to convince the majority of the people that she is right, Rosie wins that evenings match and gets to go home immediately. However, if she should lose the vote, she most then go hand to hand with a professional wrestler of the audience's choice.

This week's rumored favorite is ironically, The Sheik.

Robert W. Armijo,
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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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