Written by Robert W. Armijo
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 25 May 2007

image for Jolie and Brad on personal crusade to end all racism forever; genetic engineers sought to take it a step up
Photo: Jolie at Gen Tech Corp. waiting on Brad to give up his DNA sample

Cannes, France - At the Cannes red carpet premiere of her latest movie, A Mighty Heart, Jolie announced she intends to take a year off from acting to raise her new family and jokingly added, putting the baby making business in the more than capable hands of another at least for the time being.

Jolie may have been joking but documents linking her to a South African bio-cellular duplication facility just surfaced. She and Brad made a visit to a company there called Gen Tech Corp. earlier last year.

It's a state of the art facility, the only cloning company known to be licensed to replicate human beings, though they have yet to produce a viable one.

Reportedly, Brad and Jolie were there just to thumb through the extensive catalogue of DNA on hand, trying to match them up with some sample swatches they brought with them from one of the new nurseries they are building at one of their homes in Nigeria, Africa.

Brad and Jolie, already having every color of child known, reportedly asked the talented scientists if they could clone a skin tone never seen before by mankind, one off the known visible light color spectrum.

A Gen Tech Corp, spokesperson explained, "They seemed unsatisfied with the choices we had, although the samples contained were a collection taken from the entire human race. But at Gen Tech Corp., we aim to please."

Scientists readily accepted the challenge, but privately admitted later they are hard pressed to meet the couple's demands.

"Its never been done before, bringing into existence a color from the invisible light category of the known light color spectrum," said Genetic Engineer, Paul Swizter. "Not yet seen by mankind, at least."

"We're not sure it can be done; or that it should be done; or if we did do it, that we knew that we did," said Chief Genetic Engineer, Mike Harding. "But we're going to try because Angela Jolie asked me to. She gave me her autograph see [holding up his forearm and rolling back his white laboratory smock and blue color sleeve exposing a magic marker unreadable blurred smudged scribble mark]. "

Other genetic scientist strongly caution against undertaking such a highly experimental scientific endeavor, speculating that there could be dangerous unknown consequences, while others see it simply as a reward versus risk situation.

"To behold such a sight of an offspring of Jolie and Brad whose skin color is off the known color light spectrum, assuming it's possible, would be like seeing the face of God," one scientist said.

Witnessing such a child, no matter how physically attractive and appealing it would obviously be -- given the parents are Jolie and Brad -- is simply not worth the risk. No matter how beautiful the child, whatever the color, known or unknown, seen or unseen, said another scientist.

Brad was the only one that had to donate a DNA sample as Jolie had already had her sample drawn from a crystal vial containing her blood she had on deposit at the facility.

"It could very well be the very summit of my career in genetic engineering I am attempting, or the end of all mankind, but I'm willing to take those chances," said Chief Genetic Engineer, Harding. "Want to see Jolie's autograph again?"

Stay tuned for further updates

Make Robert W. Armijo's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 1?

8 19 5 24

Go to top ^