Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Sony, Maiko Kawakami

Monday, 30 April 2007

image for Movie star Maiko Kawakami offers Sony Corporation her poodle lamb
Kawakami's pooch will be Sony's next megastar in The God of War III

Tokyo, Japan - (Ass Mess): Japanese movie starlet Maiko Kawakami has offered the Sony Corporation use of the specially faked lamb which she bought on the internet along with 2,000 of her compatriots after being duped into believing it was a new rare breed of poodle.

The lamb, which cost Kawakami $2,000, is to feature in Sony's forthcoming PlayStation III promotions and will replace the sacrificial goat which the company used to much critical acclaim in their God of War II campaign.

Kawakami is said to have been shocked and awed when the little lambkin was outed by her veterinary surgeon as an ovine and not a canine species.

The vet said he noticed that its cloven hooves were 'a bit of a give-away' and were identified during a routine nail clipping after the actress complained that her pet mutt 'might be suffering from canine ingrowing toenail syndrome'.

Naturally, that was the end of the starlet's poodle infatuation.

Her showbiz connections meant that instead of dumping her new pooch at the nearest abbatoir Kawakami was able to recoup some of her financial losses - if not her loss of face - when her PR agency suggested getting in touch with Sony which was 'always using animals for their ritual promos'.

Sony's recent well-publicised policy of animal slaughter and evisceration during launch shows of their latest products was an ideal career move for Kawakami's unrequited pet and the little sacrificial lamb is now safe and snuggly in the corporation's animal welfare sanctuary ahead of its starring debut in God of War III.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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