Written by Hazel8500
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Topics: Alec Baldwin

Tuesday, 24 April 2007

According to an exclusive interview with Evil Monkey, Lola Thunder has determined who and what was behind the leaking of Alec Baldwin's angry rant.

Ms. Thunder was contacted via private messaging by George, the Evil Monkey. He promised her a celebrity scoop on who leaked the terrible tirade and why, in exchange for a lift to a near by bus station.

Evil Monkey claimed Ireland came to him with a request to take the recording to TMZ.com, the gossip site her father despised. He proceeded to show Lola a text message sent by an Addy Bright. The now infamous three minute meltdown was included as an attachment.

Ireland it is alleged, was more interested in attending a classmates slumber party than hanging out with her middle aged and increasingly addled father.

The simian also alleges, "Any time she wanted to do something fun, her father would accuse Kim for turning Ireland against him."

Ireland told Evil Monkey she felt bad enough for getting side tracked with her myspace account and missing her dad's call, but when she got the voice mail, she claimed to want revenge for being called a pig and a failure as a human being.

"I couldn't believe it when she first told me. I thought she must have been exaggerating or taking it out of context. Ireland insisted she email me a copy of the message so I could hear it for myself. My jaw dropped. Evil Monkey claims to have also witnessed an earlier incident where Alec accused Kim of using voodoo chocolate to cast a daddy hating spell on their young daughter.

When asked why he elected to go with the pre-teens plan of revenge against her father, Evil Monkey told Lola about a package sitting in a locker at the bus station. A years subscription to Fruit Basket of the Month Club, and Ireland's entire National Geographic collection.
"Besides", he added, "Alec's a dick."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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