Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 13 April 2007

image for Larry Birkhead swamped with marriage proposals
Love-god Larry Birkhead seduced and impregnated the platinum blonde oil billionaire widow Anna Nicole

Nassau, Bahamas - (Celebrity Mess): Lucky Larry Birkhead. The 34 year old tanned, blonde Californian photographer Daddy of Anna Nicole Smith's baby Dannielynn has been "literally inundated" with hundreds of marriage proposals from men and women all over the world since winning the paternity suit for his maybe-heiress trophy daughter.

The former USA Today journalist who once slimed Sharon Stone about Brazilian area follicle plucking compulsion is now set to become a celebrity in his own right.

Having proved to the world he was capable of seducing and impregnating one of the world's most bizarre, talked about, surgically-enhanced, platinum blonde oil billionaire widows, Birkhead has won the attention and lust juices of wannabe spouses just itching to hitch their wedding tackle to his.

Amid myriad rumors of his NBC contracts for exclusive father/daughter pics and footage, Birkhead is on his way to making it bigtime as offers continue to pour in tempting both his bank account and his heart strings.

His Nassau child custody hearing resumes next week by which time he hopes to make a full-blown razzamatazz California homecoming with the trophy daughter that he finally proved to have fathered.

Meanwile the hapless also-rans in the paternity contest have more or less fled with their tails between their legs, especially in the case of Prince Frederik Von Assfelt, adulterous eighth husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor, who now faces a homecoming chillier than a Siberian privvy.

Howard K Stern is 39.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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