Written by Jalapenoman
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Sunday, 8 April 2007

image for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Marry In Secret Wedding
What color did the bride wear? No one knows.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie secretly married this weekend in a secret wedding somewhere in Africa. No details are known of the ceremony, except that the children that they have adopted from 167 different countries all served as bridesmaids, groomsmen, best man, maid of honor, flower girls, ring bearers, and ushers.

There is only one detail about the wedding that has come to light: the Catholic Priest who officiated had to be restrained from greeting all of the male children with "inappropriate affection."

"Brangelina" have said that they planned to marry to be able to finalize adoptions in countries that will not adopt to single parents. This has cleared the way for them to adopt one child from almost each of the world's remaining countries.

The only remaining holdout to their adoption plans is Vatican City, with a birthrate of zero for the past 27 years (the one exception being a tourist who went into labor and had her baby in the back of an ambulance). Brad has expressed a desire to adopt any adult priest or nun, or someone of higher rank, whose parents are dead (up to and including the Pope), but has had no takers thus far.

The couple and their growing brood of children have purchased the old Brady Bunch home in Southern California as it seemed "the perfect spot to raise our family."

As soon as details on the wedding become available, they will be printed here.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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