Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 5 April 2007

image for Sanjaya's Fanjayas Keep Him Alive to Face Another Week
Snajay revealed he will try to take advantage of another type of Indian with this week's vote

Sanjaya lives on. The would be singer more famous for his hairstyles than his singing survived another round of cuts to continue his screechy, talentless pursuit of The American Idol Crown. "Incredible," was the only word mockingly said by judge Simon Cowell of his latest peformance.

Gina, the girl who always dressed in skanky black clothes two sizes to small and wore huge boots, was the latest casualty of the voters. "I don unnerthan why they kickth me off," said the contestant. "I liked being a contethtant and don thin my tongue thrud had anythin to do wiff it."

The person who went on a hunger strike until Sanjaya was voted off has ended their fast. "Give me a bucket of extra crispy," were their first words on hearing that the faux-hawk wearing wannabe survived again.

Tony Bennett, attempting to be politically correct, referred to Sanjaya as an entertainer as opposed to a singer, and Randy and Paula were ready to jump on that title. "Yeah, he's entertaining to watch," said Randy, "but so was William Hung!"

Speaking of Hung, he has approached Sanjaya about doing a duet. He thinks that they should work together on the classic "Don't Give Up On Us, Baby."

Meanwhile, teen magazines are quickly making Sanjaya into the latest heartthrob of the tween set. They believe that he could sell more records than many of their other famous no talent posterboys of the past: Sean Cassidy (brother of David), Leif Garrett, the Backstreet Boys, and N'Sync.

Many attribute his success to the fact that everyone in every call center in India is voting for him constantly while lines are open. "We are trying to establish a new Baliwood to Hollywood connection," said Hindu phone operator "Sean Jones" (Uri Ghandi Billobo). "We think he sings very, very good and let me tell you the benefits of our new no-fee visa card."

One American voter put his opinion this way: "House and Bones are my favorite Fox shows. When it is American Idol season, both series have many weeks where they are not shown at all or have their times moved around. I'm voting for the Indian kid just because if someone that bad wins, it may screw up the show so much it won't come back. Then I can watch my shows and not have to go eight weeks without an new episode of House."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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