Written by Moose&Squirell
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Friday, 16 March 2007

image for Britney Spears New Rough & Rowdy Rocker Boyfriend
Britney's new beau Jason Filyaw: Rock guitarist of the rock band, RIVA

MALIBU, CALIFORNIA--(ROCKNOOZ) It maybe bye-bye to reconciliatory ex-husband, Fed-Ex & the kids. In the halls of the posh & pretty Promises Rehab Center in Malibu by the Sea, Springtime has come to the vagina flashing pop star gone mad, Britney Spears. While in an Alky Autonomous meeting she found camaraderie with a 33 year old, you heard me right, 33 year old rock guitarist by the name of, Jason Filyaw, of the rock band, Riva. Spears, 25, reckons that misery beckons company of a feather.

Spears is becoming good friends with Filyaw and the two maybe moving into her digs as soon as her romp in the rehab romper room of recovery is over. J-sun & Mr. Secret Underground Parking are Britneys pet name for the aging rocker, while Jason calls her Sugar Snatch, Kitten Krybaby and My Lady in Undress. A flaky, fruity and flipped out father figure may just be the recipe needed to fix this femme fatales' fickled fractured fire.

The ex-mouseketeer gone bad Britney Spears life may be shifting into second gear now that she no longer posseses a fresh teenager-tight turn womans body. After squeezing out those two puppies it is probably the best way to an early retirement, till she pops up again in her late fifties ready to play a Las Vegas hotel dinner show.

There is no easy way of foretelling the breezy cheezy and sleezy future that Britney will choose. But, take my word for it, it will be a tortured, terrible, troublesome, trial of tragedy and we, the Media will be there to spoon feed every mad, mushy, moistey, morsel of it. Stay tuned!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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