Written by Estevez Bruin
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Friday, 9 March 2007

image for American Idol Reject Antonella Barba Joins Presidential Race
Antonella Barba's manifesto

WASHINGTON, DC: Rejected American Idol hopeful Antonella Barba today announced that she will be taking on Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama in the 2008 Presidential Election.

Standing on the steps of the War Memorial in Washington, DC, where she has previously been pictured, Ms Barba made the announcement to a small crowd of shivering American Idol fans who had followed her from the Kodak Theater in Hollywood hoping to get an autograph, or a signed photo, or more.

Announcing her candidacy, Ms Barba paid tribute to the fallen servicemen honored by the memorial: "I have always been very patriotic, and I feel there's no better way of displaying my gratitude to our fallen heroes than to cavort half-naked in a fountain dedicated to their memory. After all, military guys always like looking at naked girls!"

When asked what her campaign plans were she replied "I plan to undertake a full tour of our great Nation, exposing myself to as many people as possible before the election in 2008. I may have to take a few weeks out here and there to fulfil my obligations to Playboy and Girls Gone Wild, but rest assured you will be seeing a lot more of me in the coming months."

Back in Hollywood, the verdict of the American Idol judges on Ms Barba's latest performance were predictable:

Randy: "Yo what's up dawg? That was dope man! That bitch is really layin' it down dawg... but I don't know - I gotta keep it real here... No, man! She's hot! I'm really diggin her vibe now dude - 100 percent!"

Paula: "Well Randy, I have to agree she looked lovely in the fountain... I mean, in front of the fountain. There were a few pitchy moments in her speech, but I think it was maybe just because we didn't know it. Really, it was very nice, and she's a lovely human being too."

Simon: "First of all, let me say: what the hell are you asking me about this for? I mean, this is a political contest for God's sake! OK, she looks pretty hot in a thong, but that's not going to win her any erections, sorry - elections. To get to be President you need to be really, really stupid or really, really ugly or both, and I'm afraid if I'm going to be brutally honest, she's neither. I think we'll see her a few more times, hopefully in Playboy or on DVD, but that's about it."

Mrs Clinton and Mr Obama were unavailable for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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