Written by Ana Ward
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Monday, 12 March 2007

Is there no end to the lengths that Tom Cruise will go to keep his tabs on Katie Holmes (just in case you did not know which Katie I was referring to)?

After three attempts at the Mission Impossible explosive thrillers, Tom Cruise is now branching out on a new career as Katies Mom and Nanny. He has realised now that due to their huge and ever growing age difference, Katie may need some senior advice and guidance on any pending or future movie projects which are handed to her for perusal. It seems as if Katie may have the same I.Q. as Suri and needs Tom's superior and experienced Scientological affirmations before making any decisions of her own.

Tom's trilogy of Mission Impossible has come to an abrupt end (one thinks, or wonders - oh please don't as this thought may explode in 3 seconds) and he is proud to announce that he will oversee all of Katies projects and launch her into the Hollywood lifestyle (which is obviously not accustomed to!).

Dawsons Creek apparently was a prelude and a initiation into her new life of being Tom's wife and Suri's mother, so doesn't count for much. As Katie has now reached her full potential as a human being, she can no longer make any of her own decisions without being guided by family, friends and the stars!

Posh is so excited about the progress in Katies life that she too has taken a personal interest in joining forces with Tom to ensure that the "novice" comes to full bloom under their guided attention and manipulation. Posh is currently in deep discussions with Tom for a major role (not lead as she has the lead) for Katie in her new Reality Show.

Tom is so excited about his new position, that he has not stopped smiling, jumping on furniture and holding onto Katies arm lest she get lost or run from him.

Suri on the other hand - even as a tiny baby is dreading her toddlerhood, and is already planning to join a gang at the age of 12 that annihilates parents who embarrass their children!! At present, the only good thing going for her she feels - is her looks - thank goodness for mommy! (Katie that is - not Tom).

Make Ana Ward's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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