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Wednesday, 21 February 2007

image for Wig Wearing Britney Spears Back in Rehab After Wild Week
Adoring fans mistook a bar hopping wench for their space trotting captain.

A wig wearing Britney Spears checked back into a Los Angeles rehab center today for treatment. Unfortunately for those who saw her, it was not the right kind of wig. The former pop princess casually strolled into the facility wearing the toupee worn by William (Captain James T. Kirk) Shatner in the Star Trek IV; The Voyage Home (the one with the whales).

When asked why she had chosen that hairpiece to attempt to hide her baldness, Britney responded that "The Shat has been getting away with this since his 60's television series. Besides, I couldn't get ahold of Burt Reynolds to borrow one of his."

Strangely, Britney was not mobbed by the normal set of fans today. Instead, hundreds of virgin teenagers and twenty and thirty somethings in "I Grok Spock" t-shirts surrounded her and fell to their knees in homage, mistaking her for the object of their affection. One adoring trekkie even waved a sign saying "you can beam me up anytime." These fans apparently did not notice that the person they thought was their captain had tattoos on her neck and hands and had grown a pair of breasts.

When Britney sat down at the registration desk, it was noted that she was not wearing any panties (as usual) and flashed the Trekkies with a shot of her shaved vagina. As none of the males had ever seen or touched one of these anyway, they did not notice or react.

Police had to quiet and disperse the crowd of nerds and geeks and send them all home to their mothers.

Britney is expected to be in rehab until she dries out and detoxes and makes progress in the famous twelve step program. As she cannot count beyond ten with her shoes on, this may take some time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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