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Thursday, 15 February 2007

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Hi! I sell magazines!

Pop psychologists have termed the condition, Breastium focii or cleavage viewfinder absentium. "Basically", said pop psychologist, Warner von Kleist, author of Does This Look Like a Bunny Rabbit, and The Non-Functionality of Grey Fruit, said "the paparazzi miss Anna Nicole Smith. They miss her willingness to pose, they miss her smile and they realise she had the best magazine selling cleavage in town."

This is the explanation for recent paparazzi behavior. At a New York fashion show the paparazzi bombarded models with cheeseburgers shouting out: "Get some hips you boyish looking freaks!"; "Chow down the runway, Chow down the runway!"; "Vera Wangle some food for these stick figures!"

Out in LA, the photo fiends tossed quarters and refused to take pictures of Paris Hilton shouting: "Buy some breasts!"; "Show us your treasure chest, when you get one!"

At a focus group meeting of paparazzi things were maudlin and quiet until Billy Arrested, famous for food stained shirts, restraining orders and pictures of Candy Wantsit with her clothes on said, "Hey, Pam Anderson isn't dead? Is she?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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