Written by James Wallin
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Topics: Robbie Williams

Wednesday, 14 February 2007

image for Robbie Williams goes into rehab for addiction to publicity
Picture of Robbie Williams? Doubtful. These guys are probably snapping Jade Goody.

Robbie Williams is said to have been "overwhelmed", "gob-smacked" and "smug" at the sheer volume of sympathy he has received from fans, concerned citizens and even Gary Barlow, after he was admitted into a treatment centre for his addiction to the limelight.

The singer who, despite being from Stoke, has had enormous success, checked into the US rehab clinic on his 33rd birthday. He is said to be suffering from lack of press coverage and a feeling of not being the centre of the universe.

One fan, who on hearing the news immediately sold his car to pay for a flight to America to be with the star said "My heart really goes out to Robbie. His last album didn't do too well and he hasn't shagged anyone famous for a while, he's really having a hard time of it."

Another well-wisher was quoted as saying "In the last few months alone I've contracted bowel cancer and buried several members of my close family but hearing Robbie's story really makes me understand how lucky I am."

Sources close to Williams (who include his publicist and the man he says hello to in the lift everyday) say that the star is very pleased about the success of his ex-band mates in Take That, and does not feel even slightly sick to the stomach about ten years of lording it over them only to see them trounce him in the charts just as his career is going into a nose-dive.

Robbie is said to have made a slight recovery today but doctors say a relapse is not unlikely unless several more headlines are forthcoming.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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