Written by Fife Peterson
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Topics: Bono

Tuesday, 13 February 2007

image for Bono: "I like them big and round"
"Lovely arses, lovely lovely arses"

'Popular' entertainer, singer & politician Bono who famously fronts the immortal rock group U2, appeared drunk on Irish Television last night. Bono 67, was appearing on chat show 'Tirty Minutes with Keiren O'moonshine' when he made a series of drunken & out of character comments.

When asked what he thought of popular stars like Britney Spears & their commitment to guiding young people today he remarked, "Gah fock it who cares about dat, it's their looks i goes for. I loiks te arses, lovely big 'n round you knows. She's a roit little cracker!".

He was later heard laughing about world debt & being sick into his PA's handbag.

Bono's manager apologised today, citing 'sleep deprivation, spicy foods & half a shandy' as the reason he "lost track of his motor-mouth".

U2 have now sacked the singer replacing him with Robbie Williams who's said to 'not to be gay' & 'have mental problems which make him appear edgy in the pop press'.

Take That made no comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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