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Saturday, 27 January 2007

image for Porn and Pancakes Breakfast Draws Celebrities
You want some porn with that?

A church in a small New York town that intended to have a pancake breakfast denouncing porn has had the opposite affect. When people read that there was a "Porn and Pancakes" breakfast at a local church, things begin to get out of hand.

Within fifteen minutes, no disposable cameras were available in this town of 12,500 residents. Local motels had their switchboards flooded with calls for reservations and the local church had to begin borrowing folding tables and chairs from the high school. In fact, the event was moved out onto the parking lot.

Why all of the hoopla? Several Hollywood starlets announced their attention to attend. Britney Spears said that she would be there, but only if her limo could drop her off right in front of the head table (there were no protests from the men sitting at the head table, and the available seats with carside views went on sale for $10,000 on e-bay).

Linda Lovelace also announced her intentions to be there, but only if she could be promised a continuous mouth full of pancakes.

Paris Hilton said that she was willing to pour pancake syrup all over herself and allow locals to "lick it off" to help raise money for the church.

Hugh Hefner promised to be there if he would be allowed "to examine the local talent for possible future photographic opportunities."

Michael Vick, quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, said that he had a lot of experience this year at "flipping" things and volunteered to be a pancake turner.

After verifying that it was a Christian church doing the fundraising, Mel Gibson said that he would donate all of the white milk that the cooks required. Michael Richards agreed to split the costs of the white milk with Gibson, as long as the syrup served was not Aunt Jemima.

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills agreed to reconcile their differences long enough to help raise money for the church and even said that they would participate in the games afterward. They signed up for the three legged race.

Those who cannot be at the event, but wish to view the procedings on the internet, can do so with a major credit card and after certifying that they are over 18 years of age.

Make Throckmorton Turdblossom's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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