Written by Dan Barash
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Tuesday, 23 January 2007

image for Jealous Britney Spears Checks Into Rehab Too
Rehab? I'll drink to that!

Partying around town without underwear is not the only thing Britney Spears will do to get attention. Britney is angry that actress Lindsay Lohan has knocked her off the headlines with drunken escapades which were then followed by checking into a swank rehab center for treatment. Britney has now struck back, saying that she too is going into rehab.

Britney claims she is "way more screwed up" than Lohan, whom she alleges suffers from run-of-the-mill tequila addiction. Whereas Lohan has been going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, Britney announced she has been bearing her soul (and probably cleavage too) at Fill-In-The-Blank Addicts Anonymous.

Paparazzi spied Lohan stumbling into the posh Wonderland Treatment Center near Beverly Hills. Britney has topped that by building her own treatment center where she is the only client. It makes for rather lonely group therapy sessions. If she does not get on the cover of People soon, Britney will also be treated for Tabloid Withdrawal.

Lohan is already plotting her headline comeback, which may involve marrying an even bigger loser than Britney did.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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