Written by Fife Peterson
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Topics: Robbie Williams

Monday, 22 January 2007

image for Robbie Williams: "I Am Not Gay"
Friend of Robbie: "Oooh don't be so silly darling, Robbie loves women".

Pop singer & all round entertainer Robbie Williams today again denied he is homosexual after growing press interest into his personal life lead to rumours that Williams was in fact having a relationship with a 'rent boy' he had met in London last march.

Williams has been photographed many times with the boy, rumoured to be named Mario. He is also thought to have shared hot showers, been to dinner dates & even beds with the boy.

Today Williams who declared war with the press over the allegations said, "I am not homosexual. I may have a camp swagger & soft girly voice but I'm all male. I shag women all the time. I used to be friends with the Gallaghers you know!"

Williams later went on to explain: "Mario is a friend of mine, a close friend who I met in Soho last march. He's a lovely lad & i am very fond of him. The thought of him in a sexual way is enough to make me laugh. What a load of rubbish!"

Williams has recently been seen in trendy London nightspots with Elton John, Michael Barrymore & Paul O'Grady (of Lily Savage fame).

Lawyers acting on behalf of Mr. Williams issued a statement today calling for the "immediate stop of gay bashing articles written about Robbie in the press. Robbie is not gay & has never been a back door Charlie. He's all man but likes to show his feminine side now and again. This includes shopping, prancing, cleaning & watching soaps on TV. He's a big Corrie fan!".

Robbie Williams is currently working on new material, thought to be a triple disc concept album written about 'men's bottoms'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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