Written by Pointer
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Topics: Music, Rap, 50 Cent

Tuesday, 9 January 2007

image for Fity Cent Replaced By Dollahnchanj

The music world has been rocked by the surprising emergence of Asian Indian- American rap star, Dollahnchanj. Born in the Scarsdale ghetto the newest, latest golden record rap idol appeared as if out of nowhere,man and the throngs of rap fans can only scream: "Hello Dollah!". "Chanji" as his closest homies call him was an honors student since preschool.

"Dis Dude did calculus in the second grade and he never missed a day of school", bragged his closest homeboy Siddartha Gupta. "Dollah never had it easy", added Gupta's sister, Indira, rumored to be Chanji's main bitch, "Neither parents had Ph.D's and there had never been an M.D. in the family!"

None of these obstacles, that would have sent a lesser man into a life of crime and drugs, stopped Govinda Rafsanjani, Dollah's name before his rapster daze. Instead Dollahnchanj has taken the difficult threads of his life and woven them into a steel-hard tapestry of hardcore life from the affluent back alleys of affluent Westchester.

His first album, "No Ivy League for Ma' Daddy" chronicles his own father's rise from a lower Westchester suburb to the Scarsdale mansion where he suffered the desperation of upper-middle class immigrant America.

Myron Kvetch, Govinda's first music teacher , explained: "This young man played "Fur D'Lise " with more passion than a Mississippi blues man". "I used to say he sold his soul to the devil at the crossroads when I saw him in the Scarsdale High marching band wailing away on the tuba": was all his HS band director, Dr J.P. Seuss could say.

Many theorize that his second hit album Starz n Strippers fo' foever was secretly dedicated to his HS mentor. The inscription reads:" 2Seuss whose noose is still aroung myGDNeck!, lovya,JP".

After being unseated as rap king of the known world, Fity Cent has been unusually gracious: " Yo, ma bro, dot not feather, whether he be fo' oh in' o disatation-writin',I got his back ,back-stabbin' injun!" Those closest to Dollahnchanj are whisperin' that the next big thang from our scarred bro from Scarsdale will be called "A-A-Ain't 2Proud to BIG" a rapopera based on his struggle in the Priceton Review SAT prep course after failing to get a perfect score on his college board exams.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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