Written by Buck E Filbert
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Sunday, 17 December 2006

image for Cruise and Holmes file for divorce to quell speculation
The world's media was shocked to be caught with their pants down about this one

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes announced to the media today they would be filing for divorce. They are calling it a future active settlement to avoid undue speculation.

The media is in shock over the surprise news considering there was no warning or suspicion about the split. Evidently they were caught with their pants down.

Normally in a celebrity break up there are rumors, innuendo, and gossip flying from varied sources. Everyone is circling like vultures ready to report even the wildest of accusations.

Tom and Katie's press agent said, the couple knows the shelf life of their nuptials are fleeting at best, why bother to give the media and the vampires the blood to feed off during their impending separation.

Apparently they feel if they divorce now the pressure is totally off. People won't be wondering "How long will it last?" and "Are they fighting?"; they can go about their relationship and let it run it's natural course.

"We consider it a pre-emptive strike. If we're already divorced, no one will notice when we split." Said Katie, "We're taking the fan from the flames before they have a chance to ignite".

To date no other celebrity couple has headed off the dreaded divorce media circus associated with high profile break ups. Tom and Katie may be setting the trend for the future.

From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
Dec 16 2006

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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