Written by j.w.
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Topics: Takeover

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

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Michelle Pfeiffer

Cute farmer Michelle Pfeiffer is set to take over British agricultural firm AstralZenith so that she can turn it into a world renowned brand.

Michelle, married to a member of the mob, known as Ian Reed, has been involved during her agricultural career with well known witches and is thought they have cast a favourable spell over her enterprises.

She has been developing her particular style of 'cute farming' with great success in the States and wants to take over the British agricultural firm AstralZenith. 'I want to see farming with a cute emphasis in Britain' she told reporters 'cuddly sheep and colourful cows are my favourites.'

MP's alarmed at the prospect of the Pfeiffer take over have pointed out that she has a track record of laying off cows who do not produce enough milk. PM David Cameron has been chairing a support group for her, however, and sees her involvement as a fillip to British industry.

AstralZenith have claimed that a Pfeiffer takeover can only lead to food shortages. They promise a halal of a struggle to save animals from being treated as if they were pretty picture postcards.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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