Written by jd Balderdash
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Wednesday, 15 November 2006

image for Britney's Toddler Crawls Away from Home
He's had it with momma

"i've HAD'd it wif MAMA!" 14 month old Sean Federline told one of the developers of Sony's new Baby Translator now being test marketed in Japan. Ethan Stone, demonstrating Sony's groundbreaking device at LA precinct 47G happened to be present when officers brought in Britney Spear's son Sean after finding him and his rubber duck trying to crawl into a Chucky Cheese Pizza restaurant 3 blocks from the Spears residence. Stone told reporters,

"Yes, we can now converse with babies, President Bush even, thanks to this new technology. Thankfully I just happened to be at this precinct when they brought in Britney Spear's son. He wasn't a happy toddler. His rubber duck either."

LA police had Stone question young Sean once Sean was hooked up to Sony's Baby Translator. Stone initially asked Sean why he crawled away from home. Sean, still in a bit of a PO'd baby type of Spongebob type bubbling rage responded with (his translated words appearing on computer screen)

"Mama, Mama doan OWE'n ME! i do what i won't. She kick papa out i go wif papa, find papa. Mama KRAY_zee! Why Post man always in papa's jama's and what lip sink mean, mama KRAY_zee!"

Sean was of course referring to his father, Kevin Federline, Britney's soon to be ex husband who just recently on Larry King Live explained,

"Me and Brit .. we had .. differences, the irreconcilable kind her having, well cash and me, well not. We're still friends though. She just loaned me a couple of grand to get my van out of the pawn shop. If she helps me get my Xbox out of pawn I might not even release those sex tapes you media folks keep referring to. There's money in those tapes right? Well I'm not releasing them! Though, HOW much are they worth?"

14 month old Sean Feterline, still hot under the bib went on to tell Ethan Stone and the police about the day his MAMA made him drive a car saying,

"i KILL mama four that i seee her 'gain, i not can drive.
i no LIE-sense even Yaaaaaaaaaa I doan want wind up on kopz! (burp)."

Both Britney Spears and Kevin Federline were then called to come pick up their son, everyone praying for a peaceful resolution to the whole affair. Young Sean however, by the time Kevin Federline arrived FIRST to whisk Sean away spilled enough beans about the secret lives of the Spear's family to put both Kevin AND Britney behind bars until Charles Mansion gets released.

"Mama, she KRAY_zee" young Sean yelled to the officers as he sped off with his father in his father's van, Britney Spears in her Mercedes in hot pursuit, not that far behind ,.,

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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