Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 6 April 2014

image for Lindsay Lohan Admits She Would Love To Marry Samantha Ronson
Lindsay's "Boyfriend" Samantha Ronson is one lucky SOB.

HOLLYWOOD - Lindsay Lohan says that she is starting to get the feeling that she may never marry.

The 27-year-old actress who finally got her act together after a three month stay at a rehab clinic last summer recently spoke to Taffeta Kixx with The Gossipette Gazette.

Kixx asked if she had gone in for her freckle removement procedure she had talked about earlier this year.

Lindsay said she hadn't because she wasn't sure if her insurance would pay for that type of surgery which is considred cosmetic surgery.

She was then asked if there was anyone special in her life. Lilo blushed and said that there is someone special and it's a certain someone who has always been there for her in bad times as well in good times.

"Samantha Ronson?" Miss Kixx whispered.

"Bingo!" Lohan replied.

She then said that Sam really and truly gets her and that is why Ronson is the only person that (she) has ever let play connect the freckles on her body.

Lohan said that Ronson is more of a guy than most guys that she has dated. She giggled and said that Sam loves to watch sports on TV, burp, spit, and grab her crotch area from time to time.

Miss Kixx was shocked at that statement. Lindsay sensed her surprise and said that Samantha does not play games. With her their physical and sexual attraction is as real as the double chin on John Goodman's neck.

SIDENOTE: Lindsay told Taffeta Kixx that she would love to marry Samantha up in Boston with about half a dozen nuns as her bridesmaids.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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