Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 11 March 2014

image for Caribbean nations demand reparations from Europe for 12 Years A Slave
That should take care of having to sit through the movie's premiere

Barbados - A rag bag of Caribbean coalition countries is demanding billions of dollars in reparations from the UK and other EU countries for not doshing them up with a decent wedge from the Oscar-winning movie's enduring legacy. Yeah.

Lawyers acting on behalf of the shakedown said today their clients want a proper 'sorry' from the Oscars Committee, the cancellation of all their credit card debts and loads more ad hoc handouts.

Then there's the huge financial damages settlement to consider because of the persistent psychological trauma wrought by the film.

At five hundred dollars an hour a 'decent' Jungian shrink's bills would soon add up and in case anyone thinks that fee outrageous compare it to the going rate charged by a top notch kick-ass Manhattan attorney like Randy Mastro.

The Gibson Dunn litigation co-head was recently reported as charging New Jersey Governor Chris Christie a 'bargain' $650 per hour when everyone reckons his actual rate begins around $1,000 per hour.

And worth every goddam cent.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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