Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 15 February 2014

image for Rihanna: Hey Y'all I'm Happy To Say That I'm Finally Over My Violent Boyfriend Chris Brown
Rihanna said that her therapist (above) really helped her to get her self-esteem back.

NEW ORLEANS - Rihanna performed before a sold-out audience at The Voodoo Arena in the city known as The Big Easy.

After the show she spoke backstage with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk.

Miss Chipotle complimented her on her brand new tattoo which strangely enough is a tattoo of an iPod located on the back of her left shoulder.

The "Umbrella" singer said that the tattoo was a gift from her Aunt Petunia who lives in Brooklyn.

Chipotle asked her how she was getting along. Rihanna's eyes lit up and she said that she wants for everyone to know that after years of denial she has finally realized that her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown is nothing but a loser.

Ri-Ri said that she gave him over 37 chances but he always went back to being the same mean, despondent, verbally abusive self.

When asked what finally convinced her to forget about the little chump, she smiled and said that she just realized that there is no man in the world who will ever give her any bruises no matter how good-looking he may be.

She then grinned and added that she has recently become a black belt in karate so if some guy ever gets out of line she will kick his butt from here to yonder.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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