The Zeta Jones - Douglas's sue again!
What's new I hear you ask? Well in a legal first, the Hollywood couple are suing all popular magazines for doing nothing!
Catherine argues that the lack of any more unauthorised snaps, due to respect of privacy and the aftermath of the Hello! incedent, has left her and Michael out of the lime-light and without much needed cash from legal damages.
Zeta Jones: "It's bloody ridiculous, init? Ow am I supposed to make any more money, when people won't take snaps of me?"
A top lawyer claims that the Zeta Jones - Douglas's may have a valid case if they can prove that they would have made more money sueing magazines for unauthorised snaps.
Catherine wants a court order that requires top celeb magazines to make 'illegal' and unauthorised photos of her, so that she can sue and (as she puts it) put 16 courses of food on her Louis XIV table.
Douglas: "I'm sticking by my wife, she says she'll need a regular income to feel complete after I die...
then she had a big smile on her face and suggested we take the toaster up to the bathroom and eat toast while she bathes me."
Gray Whig QC, said that the couple should be payed £500, 000 damages for every magazine they could name.
The Zeta Jones - Douglas's have swung from court-case to court-case like some deranged money grabbing tamarin. One thing's for sure, with the stream of pittyful movies Zeta Jones has banged out they're in for some much needed cash.
"There's also Michael's winch, rubber sheets, pads, baby food and care assistant to pay for" added Miss Zeta Jones.