Written by Ossurworld
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Monday, 23 September 2013

BEHIND THE BARN AT GILLETTE STADIUM- With Rob Gronkowski out for the third week of the season, the best we can hope for is an amusing TV commercial featuring Gronk.

This week we took in Gronk as spokesperson for a local coffee and donut chain. It's his second season putting java in cups without spillage.

In this latest effort, Gronk may be outmatched. He faces off with a rooster. Yes, it's a cockfight to the finish between two cocks-of-the-walk.

We never suspected that the Gronk would be unable to spit the words out, but his big line in this short advertisement is "cock-a-doodle-doo," but he seems to stumble over the first syllable. Make no mistake: Gronk looks fresh as a cup of brew and perky too.

Morning coffee goes with those of us aged in the wood, but young virile Gronk should not have a problem with the extra large cup. Yet, he seems to mumble the word "cock" like he is Marlon Brando with a mouthful of Kleenex.

We're not sure how many takes Gronk required to enunciate his big line.

Perhaps it's a word that gives him fits. As we recall, Old MacDonald did not have a cock on his farm, which may be putting Gronk behind the barn.

We sincerely hope that the producers of his future commercials, and his team of handlers will provide Gronk with easier material to master that having a face-off with a pushy cock.

Even at the end of the spot in the locker room, Gronk is upstaged by the bird while asking, "Does Coach know you are in here?" That would only play if Bill Belichick showed up at the punch line and grabbed the cock-er, rooster.

We hope Gronk plays soon on the field; his play in the commercials is deflating us.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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