Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 25 August 2013

image for Jon Bon Jovi Has Kicked Richie Sambora Out of The Band
Jon Bon Jovi has said that lead guitarist Richie Sambora is no longer a member of Bon Jovi.

BOISE, Idaho - Bon Jovi performed at The Mashed Potatoes Arena in Boise, and afterwards the band's leader sat down with Calcutta Cotton of Music Moments Magazine.

He informed her that after months of rampant speculation he has finally made it official and lead guitarist Richie Sambora is no longer a member of Bon Jovi.

Jon Bon Jovi said that he cannot sit around and let Sambora dictate to him when he thinks he may come back and under what conditions.

According to an unnamed source Heather Locklear's ex-husband left the band to deal with an addiction to Hostess Twinkies.

The unnamed source said that over the years Sambora had gone from a 6 Twinkies a day habit to a 12 Twinkies a day habit and it was giving him one hellacious sugar rush.

Reports are that at times Sambora could not recite the alphabet correctly or even name the president of the United States (Barack Obama).

SIDENOTE: Meanwhile Bon Jovi says he will probably be naming former lead guitarist with Tarzan & The Tarzana Vineyard Vampires, Miles "Skipper" Rhubarb to take Sambora's place.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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