Written by Mitchell Scott
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Sunday, 7 July 2013

image for Kim and Kanye had been hiding the truth about newborn, North, from Kris Jenner -- he's an alien!!!

On Sunday afternoon, Kim Kardashian, 32, and Kanye West, rapper and music producer, released new pictures of their newborn son. North, weighing 100 lbs. and blessed with a large derriere and an unusually shaped head, is already being filmed for the new reality series, "Growing up with the Kardashians." The shocking alien-resembling photo of North West has caused much commotion in the entertainment scene. Many friends, including Paris Hilton, didn't know how to initially react to the revelation. According to Paris, "this baby is like so, o.m.g. crazeballs. Maybe Will Smith didn't actually save the world in Independence Day. But he totally rocked that outfit in the movie. Hot." Others, though, were more welcoming and supportive of the news. Already, civil rights leaders, such as Rev. Al Sharpton, are calling on the government to bestow "equal rights for aliens," adding Sharpton, "we need to support Kim and Kanye. This is America and we need to embrace alien babies, too."

Sidestepping the political debate over alien-equality, the happy couple, Kim and Kanye, announced plans to film their new series in Egypt. Kim is absolutely joyous about the birth and participation of North, exclaiming, "he is the most beautiful baby alien I have ever seen. I think he definitely gets the junk in his trunk from his mama. I can't wait for him to shake it for the camera." Kim and Kayne are pondering living in Egypt, as West, 36, has stated (in auto-tune), "the current political environment would provide for a better and more stable upbringing for North." Kanye has also expressed interest in living in the middle east, "because I think I am Jesus and everybody else's music stinks -- especially Taylor Swift's horrible melodies."

But the birth of Kim and Kanye's child has not come without controversy. Until earlier today, Kanye and Kim have told Kris Jenner, the Dictator of Kardashianville, that the couple's child was normal. Kanye felt that Kris Jenner was: "I ain't saying she a golddigger but she may exploit North's alien-identity to increase viewership of the new reality series . . . you know what I mean." Kim, too, strongly believed that "Kris would turn my alien baby into a normal one - one that flies on private jets all the time, models, lays at the pool instead of enrolling at school. I want my alien-child to live a normal life." Khloe Kardashian, part-alien herself, knew the baby's alien genetics right from the start and had held the secret from Kris Jenner. "Being an-alien baby is very difficult. And Kris Jenner is from another world. And there is no kryptonite to stop Kris."

According to sources, the situation is alleviated as parties agree on how the alien-child should be raised. Watch the show later tonight to see how it unfolds.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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