Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 4 July 2013

image for Lindsay Lohan Spends Her 27th Birthday Bored To Tears In Her Rehab Clinic
Lindsay shown on the floor of her room drawing pictures of different kinds of pills.

LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan has just turned 27 and she says that she can already feel that she has matured quite a bit since being in rehab.

Lohan, reportedly confessed, to a fellow patient, that even though she hates every minute of rehab she knows that she has to do it because if she doesn't the judge will send her to the big house (prison) where the big girls will immediately turn her into the obligatory cell block ho since she is physically attractive and sexually desirable beyond belief.

She then said that she can hardly wait to get out of the most boring place on the face of the Earth because when she does she is going to party, party, party, and then party some more.

Lindsay's therapist has said that Miss Lohan's biggest problem is that she thinks that she has the acting ability of Elizabeth Taylor and the poor girl is simply delusional in that regard.

Lohan was administered the Rorschach Inkblot Test and nearly every thing she saw was either illegal pills, a joint, a female hooha, or a bottle of beer.

SIDENOTE: When Lindsay is released she may have to be under adult supervision for six months. Charlie Sheen has volunteered to watch her and make sure she stays out of trouble

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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