Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 30 June 2013

image for Princess Kate Denies That She and Prince William Are Naming Their Baby London Fog Mountbatten-Windsor
Queen Elizabeth says that she already has a baby staff of four who will tend to Kate and William's new baby.

LOS ANGELES - The Tinsel Town Times Tribune recently spoke with a personal bodyguard of Kate Middleton.

And this individual who could not give out his name due to United Kingdom Royal Bodyguarding Protocol rules revealed that he knows more about Princess Kate and husband Prince William than most British individuals including Piers Morgan.

Margarita Mixx remarked that the bodyguard who said she could refer to him as Sir Robin Hood has worked for the royal couple ever since they were married.

Miss Mixx asked if the due date had been changed due to the impending inclement weather forecast.

Sir Robin Hood replied that it hadn't and expressed that the due date is still July 11, at roughly 2:15 p.m.

Sir Robin did note that Queen Elizabeth had said that she wanted the birth moved up to July 7, due to prior commitments in Holland.

Miss Mixx told Sir Robin that she had heard from an unnamed inside Buckingham Palace source that Kate and William had decided on the baby's name which is London Fog Mountbatten-Windsor.

Sir Robin giggled and replied that it is his understanding that the name is in fact on the couple's short list along with two others.

When asked what the other two names were, he smiled and said that he was sworn to secrecy.

Miss Mixx was able to contact Kate AKA The Duchess of Cambridge while she was having an apricot crumpet at the home of Britain's Got Talent judge Amanda Holden, who is a close friend of the royal family.

Kate was asked if her and Wombat, as William was nicknamed by his parents, will be naming their new addition London Fog Mountbatten-Windsor.

Princess Kate was surprised to hear that she knew one of the three names that they had picked out. She politely stated that she cannot give out any information regarding the baby's name because if her grandmother-in-law were to find out she would be one very pissed of queen.

SIDENOTE: Kate's grandfather-in-law, Prince Philip reportedly suggested that they name the baby Chip Mountbatten-Windsor if it's a boy or Crumpet Mountbatten-Windsor if it's a girl.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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