Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 10 June 2013

image for Chicharito Says He'll Probably Give Up Soccer and Move To America If His Girlfriend Cheryl Cole Gets The X-Factor Job
Cheryl told Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo that everytime Chicharito plays she wears her lucky red Man U panties.

LOS ANGELES - Cheryl Cole has made it perfectly clear that her number one priority right now is to do whatever it takes to get that coveted judge's slot on Simon Cowell's X-Factor.

Cheryl has said that she has never been happier than she is now that she's involved with professional soccer star Chicharito.

Cole said that when she was in a relationship with Derek Hough of Dancing With The Stars she felt that he literally hung the moon, but now that she has been with Javier Balcázar Hernández she can in all honesty say that he has hung the entire solar system.

Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo who knows Cheryl very well stated that he has never seen her as happy as she is with Chicharito.

De Gallo revealed that (Javier) told him last week that not only does Chezza have the sexiest body he has ever seen, she is also one of the smartest females on both sides of the pond (Atlantic).

He noted that Cole knows the names of all of the children of every man who has ever been president of the United States.

Javier confessed to de Gallo that if Chezza gets the X-Factor job he will most probably resign from Manchester United so that he can move to Los Angeles.

In Other News. President Obama has instructed the IRS to take a fine tooth comb and go through the last ten income tax returns of that heckler bitch who had the audacity to interrupt his wife during a speech.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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