Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 23 May 2013

image for Lindsay Lohan To Auction Off Bras and Panties To Help Pay For Her Rehab Stay
These are five of Lindsay's bras that she will place on eBay.

LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan has now been at The Henry & Betty Ford Clinic for three weeks. And the Hollywood starlet is reportedly so bored she is starting to chew on the bedspread.

An unnamed source said that Lindsay pretty much keeps to herself for fear of being physically attacked by some of the other patients who are jealous of Lindsay's looks, celebrity status, and cute freckles.

The rehab clinic nurse Cadenza Costapino said that Lindsay is okay once she falls asleep but while she is awake she is a mini-terror.

Nurse Costapino said that at first Lohan refused to take her daily allotment of 7 pills but after they were all administered rectally with the help of clinic custodian Enzo Rudolphowitz she quickly agree to take them orally.

According to Lindsay's anger management instructor Talbot F. Neckingbrewster Lindsay is slowly realizing that she has to start acting her age (26) and stop acting like she's one of Kate Gosselin's little heathens.

Neckingbrewster stated that Lindsay is very concerned about the cost of her stay at Henry & Betty Ford. He suggested to her that perhaps she could auction off some of her bras and panties on eBay to help pay for her bill.

Lohan said that she liked the idea and she has asked her good friend Charlie Sheen to go to her house and pick out 5 bras and 12 panties.

In Other News. May is National Hamburger Month so make plans to take the family out to a local Burger Bandit, Burger Miss, or Burger Princess.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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