Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 13 May 2013

image for Pamela Anderson and Jennifer Aniston To Star In The Attack of The Vampire Cicadas
Pamela stars as Brandy Cullenhickler in the movie The Attack of The Vampire Cicadas.

HOLLYWOOD - Tri-Moon Pictures in association with Pipe Dream Films has announced that filming has started on the Luigi Luigiani motion picture The Attack of The Vampire Cicadas.

The film is based on the Hyacinth Cynthia Barbuckle novel titled What The Hell Is That Incessantly Horrendous Noise?

Anderson and Aniston will be starring as sisters Brandy and Mandy Cullenhickler.

The sisters are originally from Cheyenne, Wyoming, but moved to the East Coast in hopes of becoming high-fashion middle-aged high heel shoe models.

After an incident in which both Brandy and Mandy accidentally get bit by a vampire while at a Miranda Lambert concert they both suddenly notice a hell of a change in their attitude, personality, demeanor, and libido.

Mandy suddenly develops an inexplicable urge for Hostess Twinkies while Brandy finds that she has become addicted to casual sex.

Jumping to the end of the movie the two sisters become part of a vampire group that joins forces with the East Coast vampire cicadas, which come out every 17 years.

The vampire cicadas reap havoc all up and down New England and are so menacing that even pit bulls want no part of them (literally).

[SPOILER ALERT] The Cullenhickler sisters are captured by NYPD undercover detectives, arrested, and extradited to Cheyenne, Wyoming, since they are wanted for questioning in the disappearance of a herd of buffaloes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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