Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 10 May 2013

image for Jon Stewart Says Donald Trump Needs To Find The Receipt and Return That Horrible-Looking Toupee
A piece of Trump's hair which Omarosa found on the floor of his office and has since put on eBay.

NEW YORK CITY - Jon Stewart has finally fired back at Donald Trump for making another one of his off-the-wall comments that make him look like he could be Gary Busey's long lost twin brother.

Stewart, who can play hardball with the best of 'em, said that it is too bad that with all of the billions that the Trumpster has that he could not purchase some common sense, some decency, and a better looking hairpiece.

Jon said that he really hopes that Donnie Boy kept the receipt and as soon as humanly possible returns to the retail store where he bought that horrible-looking toupee and gets his money back since as everyone can see the sucker is definitely defective.

The reason why Stewart was hitting back at Trump was because El Donaldo had said that the only reason why Stewart has a show is because it was given to him by one of his fellow Yiddish chums.

Stewart went on to say that in a way he feels sorry for the weasel-looking Dumpster (Jon's word) and added that poor Donald is so busy acting like he knows it all that he has not noticed that the cheese has slipped completely off of his cheeseburger.

A Friendly Reminder. Wednesday, May 14, is National Sex Toy Day, except in California, where it is always National Sex Toy Day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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