Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 9 May 2013

image for Chuck Lorre Explains The Reason Why Two and A Half Men's Angus T. Jones Was Not Fired
Chuck Lorre says that he pays the unappreciative Angus T. Jones $300,000 per show.

MARINA DEL REY - The creator, producer, and writer of the hit sit-com Two and A Half Men recently sat down and talked about his very popular show.

Chuck Lorre, who survived the adversarial confrontation with the former star of the show Charlie Sheen, met with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight at one of his favorite restaurants The Enchanted Enchilada in Marina Del Rey.

De Gallo asked him about the unappreciative sarcastic rantings of the show's half man, Angus T. Jones who said that he hated the show and urged viewers not to watch it.

Lorre said that he could not believe the onions of Angus T. who he pays the amazing salary of $300,000 per episode.

Chuck asked "Mr. de Gallo, tell me good sir, what 19-year-old in the history of American television sit-coms has ever made that unbelievable amount of weekly salary?"

"No one," came the reply. Lorre took a sip of his Anaconda Shooter and simply grinned for a few moments. He then said that he could not believe how unappreciative the little shithead was.

When asked why he did not fire him immediately upon hearing Angus T's. remarks, Lorre took two sips of his Anaconda Shooter, leaned in, and said that the little twit was under contract.

Lorre noted that he was not about to fire him and give the punk $1.2 million a month to just sit at home on his disgusting butt.

So he decided instead that he would greatly limit Jake Harper's air time by having him leave Malibu Beach and join the army.

In the latest episodes of Two and A Half Men, Angus T. has appeared on the air an average of 13 seconds per show.

SIDENOTE: Chuck Lorre is not a vindictive man, but he said off-the-record that after Angus T. Jones' contract is up the little spoiled brat will not ever work in Hollywood again, except maybe as a hamburger flipper at a local burger joint.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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