Written by DP Whitehead
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Topics: satire, self parody

Friday, 3 May 2013

image for Spoof News "God" Makes £350.75 A Week!
Spoof And Funny News God!

Universally regarded as one of the Internets funniest users, unnamed sources confirmed Friday that famed 45 year old Spoof News icon Bob Taylor, better known as "Nutbuster" by his throng of passionate and loyal fans, makes roughly £17,000 a year, and lives with his mum.

Taylor, who for the last ten years has worked as a librarian for Dorset County Council, has reportedly exceeded 20,000,000 hits to his spoof news articles and has amassed over 60 rabid followers since first taking the internet by storm in 2003 and has since grown into one of the most prominent and popular voices in the spoof and satire news arena.

"I try to add something new to every spoof article I write," said Taylor, who sources claim always nails it with his articles and spoof news stories, day in, day out, without fail, seven days a week, fifty two weeks a year. "My army of fans expect the best, and I take that as a responsibility to always give them something to always laugh about."

"I'm constantly pushing the boundaries with my articles," added the man who makes approximately £1,100 per month after taxes and has not paid any rent to his mother in over ten years. "I have submitted to The Spoof, Newsbiscuit, Thump, in fact EVERY fake and spoof news website out there, but it is at The Spoof where I am best well known, for my stories and my hilarious jokes and snippets."

According to sources, Taylor receives over 250 hits on each of the roughly 20 fake news articles he posts daily. The universally proclaimed "Spoof Guru" also reportedly attracts new followers every week and has a £500 monthly credit limit on his Barclaycard.

"I write mainly about celebrities and tittle tattle" said the big-time satirical hotshot who rides the bus to and from work every day. "I'm happy that what I write resonates so deeply with people, I also write a lot about conspiracies and people in the public eye who I hate, for no other reason than I am jealous of their success or disagree with their politics."

Taylor's every move is said to be fawned over by his rapidly growing fan base and envious fellow spoof writers, who lie below him in the ranks of 'Spoofers', all of whom voraciously read anything and everything the comic genius posts in his downtime between shelving books, feeding his mum's cats and masturbating.

"I check out Nutbuster every day because that guy is basically the best of the best," 71-year-old "Spoofer" Cecil Parker said of the man who has accumulated over £77.89 in his piggy bank. "I remember when he first came on the scene, he was like a breath of fresh air" said Parker who goes by the Spoof name "KingDirty".

"I don't know how he does it. He just keeps pulling these comic gems, comedy gold, and humor nougats out of nowhere."

"There's no two ways about it: Bob Taylor IS Spoof news," said expert and analyst Wayland Smith, who runs his own fake news website noting that Taylor has built up an extensive back catalog of material that could, if he so wished, just be chopped and cut and pasted to change names and location, if he wanted to, that is, which he could, if he wanted to. "He's an absolute Spoof machine. He just has his finger on the pulse like nobody else out there right now. I wish he would write on my site."

At time of press, it was confirmed Taylor was lying in front of the TV, with his laptop at his side, which his mum bought him from Comet, watching the hits flood in as his latest spoof news article went viral.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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