Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 18 April 2013

image for Ann Coulter Disrupts The View
Ann Coulter has said she would like to adopt an African baby but just as long as it's a Republican.

NEW YORK CITY - The Republican mouthpiece Ann Coulter was in Gotham City on a shopping trip.

Coulter was reportedly shopping for a pair of sneakers in her size which is an amazing size 12.

Comedian Zydeco Dupree recently said that Trigger Face has the largest feet that he has ever seen on a woman.

He noted that if the old saying that the larger a woman's feet are the less sensuously sexy she is in the bedroom department is true then Ann is a retail store mannequin.

The white drinking straw recently appeared on The View were she spoke with Whoopi Goldberg. The dreadlocked Goldberg asked her about the rumor that she was going to be moving to Iran in the summer.

Coulter replied that it was Iraq and that she has no idea who started the silly rumor but if she had to bet she would bet that it was either the ugly red-headed cougar Kathy Griffin or Vice-President Joe "Burger" Biden.

She told Whoopi that both Griffin and Biden have made it clear that they do not like her.

"Along with millions and millions of other folks." Whoopi noted.

"Oh wow Goldberg, you sound just like Streisand and Beyonce." Coulter retorted.

"And you sound just like Mitt "The Flip Flopper" Romney and his sidekick Paul "Little Bunny Foo Foo" Ryan, beatch."

"Now, now, now Whoopi," Barbara Walters jumped in. "I will not have you disrespecting our guest Miss Coulter by calling her a beatch...even though pony girl is a beatch."

SIDENOTE: As Coulter got up to leave she turned to Walters and Goldberg and said that Walters really needs to do something about her awful lisp and Goldberg needs to stop dressing like a friggin carnival worker.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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