Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 12 April 2013

image for David Letterman Ambushes Lindsay Lohan
Letterman got put in his place by Lindsay Lohan. (Photo courtesy of Richard Simmons).

NEW YORK CITY - Lindsay Lohan graciously agreed to appear as a guest on Late Night With David Letterman, but she probably regrets it now.

Letterman started off the interview fairly normal as he asked Lindsay the usual guest questions such as "How tall are you? What is your IQ? and How much do you weigh?

Lohan, blushed but she answered all of his questions. Dave then took it a step farther as he asked her what color underwear was she wearing

Lilo blushed again as she replied that she was wearing pink bikini thongs.

Letterman's tongue almost hit his table. He then asked her if she had freckles all over.

At that point Lindsay sternly let him known that if he was going to act like a vulgar, salivating, dirty old man then she was going to get up and leave.

She pointed out to him that she had come on the show to publicize her new motion picture Scary Movie 5, and not to help him act out his female fantasies.

Letterman replied that she was the guest and he was the host and as the guest she would answer the questions that he the host asked.

Dave then asked her a very personal question about her being required to enter into The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic.

Lindsay stuck her finger in his face and told him that he had promised her backstage that he would not mention her upcoming rehab.

Letterman said he did not recall the conversation. Lohan then told him that she was being distracted by his hairdo from hell. She asked him if he needed some money to buy a comb.

She then asked him why in the world he would want to steal Gary Busey's hairdo anyway.

Letterman just shook his head and remarked that she had hurt his feelings.

"Good!" Lindsay remarked. "It looks like you're one of those older male types who love to dish it out, but who can't take it huh?"

"You're right Miss Lohan." Dave replied, "You are absolutely right. I guess that I'm nothing but a low-life, bottom-feeding, old tyrant and if you think I need a spanking then here I am."

Lohan rolled her eyes and told him that she really and truly feels that he needs to hang up his microphone and get the hell out of Dodge before some unlady-like female guest such as Chelsea Handler, Kathy Griffin, or Omarosa hauls off and kicks his arrogantly pompous ass all the way back to Indiana.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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