Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 20 March 2013

image for Blake Shelton: I Ain't Divorcing Miranda - Hell She'd Shoot Me!
A photo of Blake Shelton's favorite horse, Miss Coulter.

NASHVILLE - One of country music's happiest couples, Blake Shelton and Miranda "Itty Bitty" Lambert are laughing silly at the Big D rumors.

According to an inside source, Shelton is supposed to be involved in a semi-affair with Tom Cruise's ex-wife Katie Holmes.

Blake told Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine that not only is he not involved with Katie, but he has never even met her.

The tall drink of water country singer said that he truly feels that the rumor was started by Taylor Swift who loves playing practical jokes next to writing songs about ex-boyfriends.

Meanwhile Miranda Lambert, who is alleged to carry a Glock 9 in her purse and a shotgun in the trunk of her Ford 150, said that Blakey knows better than to eyeball another woman because she has shown him photos of what she has done to beer cans at 100 yards with her high powered telescopic rifle and it ain't a pretty sight.

Katie Holmes was contacted at her New York apartment and asked to comment on her alleged involvement with Blake. She remarked that she has never seen Blake Shelton and added that the only Blake's she knows are Blake Windinwitz, a Manhattan deli owner and Blake Bissatinker, who is married to her personal masseuse Natasha Bissatinker.

In Other News. Dennis Rodman has remarked that he wants Donald Trump to accompany him on his next trip to North Korea.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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