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Tuesday, 12 February 2013

image for David Attenborough Accused of Air-Brushing Out Gay Animal Antics
Wise Owl Sir David

Vintage wild-life presenter Sir David Attenborough has been accused of not acknowledging how some animals have gay members who wish to come out of the closet.

David Brett commented, "Whenever two male chimpanzees cuddle and cavort around together and get out the old banana David just says they're being playful."

Other critics have said that Sir David is only interested in making animals conform to family values. When talking about the lifestyle of Emperor Penguins Sir David said how the penguins mate for life and work tirelessly to look after their offspring. Sir David said, "The father penguin goes off every day to work to look for food for his sprogs and the mother keeps her nest spotless. The offspring are clean and well adjusted."

Some modern, trendy wild life presenters have stated that there is a lot of overtly gay behaviour going on in the animal kingdom of which Sir David either ignores or has no knowledge. One said, "Sir David is in his 1950s time-warp and always promotes the heterosexual family structure at the expense of any other life style. Why can't lions be loud and proud and come roaring out of their closets?"

Talk show host Ellen De-Generes said, "There are a lot of gay or lesbian gulls out there and they admire each others booty in the same way as I ogled Katy Perry's 'boob window' at the Grammys".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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