Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 11 February 2013

image for The Grammy Awards Show - Kelly Clarkson Says Her Weight Gain Is Due To Happiness
Everyone's microphones were safe since Kanye West did not attend the Grammy Award Show. (Photo courtesy of Ryan Seacrest)

LOS ANGELES - LL Cool J hosted The 55th Annual Grammy Awards Show from The Staples Center in Los Angeles.

At the start of the show he reminded everyone that CBS executives had issued a memorandum stating that they did not want any of the women presenters or performers showing huge expanses of skin such as breasts, butts, and upper thighs.

Apparently Jennifer Lopez and Katy Perry did not get the memos as J.Lo appeared on stage wearing a black gown that showed her entire right leg from her ankle all the way up to her pubic region.

Katy appeared on stage wearing an extremely tight-fitting low-cut green dress that showed about 90 percent of her fabulous-looking hooters, or as they call them in New Mexico tata's.

Meanwhile Kelly Clarkson made her way up to the stage to receive the Grammy for Best Pop Vocal Album ("Stronger").

She was dressed well within the network guidelines but her speech clearly showed that she'd probably had two or five Margaritas.

At first she started talking in Swahili but soon corrected herself. Everyone noticed that the first American Idol winner has gained about 27 pounds in the past month or so.

When Clarkson was interviewed backstage by Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors about her obvious weight gain Kelly giggled as she took a sip of her Diet Avocado Margarita.

She then replied that the reason she has gained close to 30 pounds is because she is one happy little camper.

She stressed that since she became engaged (to a guy) that she is thrilled beyond belief that all of the lesbianite rumors have finally stopped.

Kelly said that as a result she is extremely elated and she now finds herself having a third and fourth Big Mac, whereas before it was just one and sometimes two per fast food outing.

In A Related Grammy Show Story. People are still wondering what in the world possessed Frank Ocean to write and sing a song about "Forrest Gump." Even Taylor "The Player" Swift commented that it was the worst song that she has ever, ever heard.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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