Written by ANGELA WRIGHT
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Friday, 1 February 2013

image for Louis Walsh brain implant rejected, say medics
Louis' fan hears of implant rejection

The heady days of measurable cerebral activity are over for brain implant recipient Louis Walsh, according to Senior Neurologist Willie Bodgem. After several desperate attempts to reconnect disrupted neurotransmitters, Bodgem emerged from Beaumont Hospital late last night to admit failure. Walsh will remain in hospital for a number of weeks under close observation.

Following the sensational news, big names in the pop industry - on Twitter and Facebook - joined in the national conversation on the demise of Louis' all-too-brief encounter with intelligence. The Take That boys have started work on a tribute song entitled: All Heart (Don't Need No Brain).Close friend Sharon Osborne invited Louis to recuperate with her family in Hollywood, adding that husband Ozzy had managed perfectly well without a brain for decades.

Meanwhile, the stricken Walsh lies sedated in a darkened room, his future uncertain. Medics apparently warned him before the ground-breaking surgery that there was a 50/50 chance of organ rejection. Overheard yesterday in conversation with colleagues in a hospital corridor, Willie Bodgem said he wasn't convinced that Walsh had understood the concept of '50/50.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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