Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 23 January 2013

image for The Reason Lindsay Lohan Refused The Dancing With The Stars Proposal
A photo of herself that Lindsay Lohan autographed and gave to Charlie Sheen. (Photo courtesy of Derek Hough).

VENICE BEACH - A close friend of the highly troubled Hollywood starlet Lindsay Lohan reports that LiLo is more confused now than she has ever been.

Bibiana Snowsnuggle, who first met Lohan at The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo in Tarzana back in 2002, told Zydeco Dupree with iRumors that she's worried that her freckle faced friend may go off the deep end, to use a phrase that Olympic swimming champion Michael Phelps uses at least three times a day.

Lindsay has become very disoriented, according to Snowsnuggle, who revealed that just two days ago the celebutante went into a Burger Bandit Restaurant in Venice Beach and ordered A #3 Enchilada Dinner.

When told by a counter employee that they only serve hamburgers and fries Miss Lohan reportedly yelled out "Well what kind of a Mexican Restaurant is this that doesn't sell hot dogs?"

Needless to say, Lohan was a bit confused, messed up, and acting like the female version of Gary Busey.

Dupree reported that Lindsay was asked to appear on the new edition of Dancing With The Stars and was offered a generous salary of $1.2 million.

But it appears that Lohan turned it down. Dupree stated that the reason why Lohan declined the fabulous offer is because there is just no way that she would be able to dance with the electronic monitoring device which is attached to her left ankle.

In Other News. Beyonce is thrilled beyond belief that President and Mrs. Obama allowed her and her husband Jay-Z to stay overnight in the White House's Lincoln Bedroom.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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