Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 15 January 2013

image for Oprah extracts the truth out of Lance Armstrong; "it was that damn bum cream" he claims
This Mexican Witch Doctor gave Lance his bum cream and he's been riding the other way ever since!

Oprah Winfrey has interviewed Lance Armstrong in a 2 hour session that is due to be sent out on US TV in two parts. Oprah took on the assignment because behind the Armstrong charade she believed there is a real person sitting on his saddle and not a cheat.

And after several attempts to avoid the issue Lance actually came out and told the truth behind the accusations that have stripped him of his Tour de France titles, Nike sponsorship deal, personal pride, etc.

After all, could any normal person sit on a hard saddle for 3 weeks, bicycle 200Km's on average a day? Climb huge mountains, fall off his bike at 70mph, end up with a sore bum every evening and that is exactly what has caused the misery!

Armstrong rubbed his bum with hormone cream every evening, this entered his body and seeped into his blood vessels. Lance knew this but his bum was more important so he "ducked and dived" the wee wee tests, with help from his innocent team doctors.

Oprah is always good at extracting the truth and now the world should forgive Lance, France should give him back his titles and the world can once again be proud of this super-hero!

Sadly, the world don't give a crap about Lance's bum because they love to hate someone who just happened to ride better on bum cream than the rest!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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