Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 27 November 2012

image for Katy Perry's Friends Warn Her: Stay Away From "Player" Mayer
Even John's grandmother Gwendolyn Ruth Shawski calls him a ruthless Romeo who needs to stop breaking women's hearts.

BEVERLY HILLS - Katy Perry and her smug boyfriend of four months John Mayer have been seen house hunting in the L.A. area.

The 28-year-old Perry has fallen head-over-heels for the man known as "Player" Mayer.

John has a history of being the Left Coast's number one proponent of the love 'em and leave 'em attitude.

Mayer, who is 35, but acts like he's 15, has dated and dumped such noted Hollywood celebrities as Cameron Diaz, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, and Taylor Swift, who angrily wrote two songs about their relationship.

The first song was titled "Dear John" and the second song was titled "Go To Hell You Don Juan Wannabe."

A very close friend of Katy's, who would only give out her initials (P.Z.) said that she cannot believe that Katy would want to be with him since they fight like starving cats and dogs going after the same morsels of food.

P.Z. added that Katy and John could truly be the modern day version of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton with their drinking, fighting, and badmouthing of the GOP.

Rihanna, who is a close friend of Perry's, said that she does not want Katy to make the same mistake she made and date a guy who has more respect for crickets than he does for women.

Even Joan "The Moan" Rivers, chimed in and said that apparently Katy's ex-husband Russell Brand must have bit her and given her some kind of virus that has destroyed her common sense genes.

SIDENOTE: The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle is reporting that Katy's hometown of Santa Barbara has put up several standard-sized billboards that read: Katy, sweety, do not let John Mayer brainwash you. He is a gigolo jerk, who relishes dumping women after he gets tired of playing house with them. Dump him, before he dumps you.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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