Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 26 October 2012

image for Taylor Swift Says Conor Kennedy Is History
The guitar that Taylor uses to write all of her songs. (Photo by Reba McEntire).

NASHVILLE - As long as Taylor Swift keeps on getting boyfriends and breaking up with them she will never ever run out of song ideas.

The latest Swift victim to be shown the relationship door by the 22-year-old country music star is Conor Kennedy, grandson of the late Robert F. Kennedy.

Taylor spoke with Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine and stated that like all of her former boyfriends including Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, John Mayer, and Patrick Schwarzenegger she will most definitely be writing a song about her very first boy-toy, 18-year-old Conor.

When Taylor was asked by Buck Yazoo, with Y-K-Y, what first attracted her to Conor she replied that it was his Boston accent.

She then said that second was the fact that he was a Kennedy, third that he was the cousin of Patrick (Schwarzenegger) whom she had just broke up with, and fourth was the fact that Conor and her both had the same favorite number; 479.

Yazoo asked Taylor if she had a title picked out for her song about young Kennedy, who is still in high school. She grinned, put down her Oreo Cookie, and replied that she just completed the first verse of a song called, "Helping My Boy-Toy With His Homework."

Buck asked if she'd play it. "Why, I sure will." Taylor said joyfully.

She picked up her guitar and started strumming some romantic chords. She then sang the first verse:

We were studying on the rug.
In front of his grandmama's couch.
I said baby I need a hug.
He squeezed me so hard, I yelled ouch!

Taylor said that since Conor is only 18, she is going to keep the song PG-13 rated.

SIDENOTE: Conor's great grandmother Ethel Kennedy was reportedly devastated when she heard that Taylor had dumped her great grandson. She told Conor's Aunt Maria Shriver that she was gonna miss that long-legged singing blonde gal. She then remarked that she hopes that one day T-Swizzle (Taylor) stops writing songs about guys she's been in relationships with and starts writing real country songs about trucks, trains, hunting dogs, beer, cheating, and chewing tobacco.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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