Written by Backandtotheleft
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Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Chris Brown is the luckiest man in the world not only can he punch people with almost no consequence but the motherfucker can brag about it via a tattoo. The news that gives violent lovers everywhere hope, is about to break.

Rihanna is about to announce to the world that the man "who beat her like a egg" is about to put his shoes back at the end of her bed and his fist right into her heart (or face if she talks during one more NBA game).

Rihanna, one of the most respected and revered women on the planet has decided the best message to send to her fans is "If he does hit you it's probably because you deserve it". Not as catchy as some of her songs but still a strong statement of intent.

A source close to the singer revealed:

"Ri-Ri gave Chris a list of things about his behaviour he would have to change to have a future with her. All of which he flatly denied to do. Chris then gave her a list of demands that she had to adhere to, including writing credits on all her future tracks and a editing of her forthcoming autobiography. The version will now refer to the "little incident" they had as Gods Will."

As we sat our "source" showed us CCTV footage of Chris bare-knuckle boxing a couple of 17year old girls in a car park. When we asked what this was about our source answered.

"Practising."

Back and to the Left news admits that people deserve a second chance (and thanks to the judge for understanding our need to be naked we got ours) but hitting women? That is for two types of people Tossers and the Taliban. We ask only this. Which one are you Chris?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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