Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 7 October 2012

image for Heidi Klum's New Show - "Project: I'm Looking For A New Husband"
Heidi Klum relaxing at The Whole Enchilada Hotel & Spa down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

SANTA MONICA - The host of the top rated reality show Project Runway, Heidi Klum, has just revealed that she has signed to appear on yet another reality show.

The 39-year-old German model who has graced the cover of a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, been a Victoria's Secret Angel, and was named The European Female With The Best Looking Legs by Playboy Magazine mogul Hugh Hefner will soon be appearing in The Epitome Television Network show, Project: I'm Looking For A New Husband.

Klum has the body of a 27-year-old and the face of a 37-year-old, and she confided to Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk that she was extremely depressed after her marriage to the one-hit wonder Seal ended after seven years.

When asked what caused the divorce Heidi "The Nightie," as Charlie "The Space Cadet" refers to her, said that there were several very good reasons, some good reasons, and a few simply okay reasons.

After being prodded a bit by Miss Chipotle, who is a close friend of Zac Efron, Heidi confessed that one of the good reasons was that she just got tired of hearing Seal sing his hit "Kiss From A Rose" on a daily basis sometimes as many as ten times a day.

She said that she would ask him to stop singing that song and to please sing something by George Strait, Neil Diamond, or even the Beatles but he refused saying that the song had been voted the All-Time number one song in the African country of Upper Shambutu.

Klum, who appeared in the films The Devil Wears Prada and the sequel The Demons From Hell Wear Versace stated that her current boyfriend slash bodyguard Martin "Muscles" Kristen is not at all happy about her new show.

SIDENOTE: Heidi confessed to Miss Chipotle that if Marty does not like the fact that her new show is about her trying to get a new husband then he can just quit his bodyguarding job, walk out the door, and she will just hire another bodyguard quicker than Conchata Ferrell can eat a pack of Junior Mints.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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