Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 4 October 2012

image for Maria Shriver Writes Book About Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold explaining his new book to President George Bush. (Photo taken by Donald Rumsfeld).

BRENTWOOD, California - Maria Shriver is still extremely upset at the fact that her soon-to-be-ex-husband Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child out of wedlock with their long time housekeeper.

Maria, whose mother Eunice is a Massachusetts Kennedy, reportedly mentioned to close friend Oprah Winfrey that he could've at least had an affair with someone like actress Brigitte Nielsen.

Well, Shriver soon learned when she read Arnold's book, Total Recall - My Story of Loving, Lusting, and Lap Mingling that Arnie did in fact engage in some hokey-pokey with the Danish star.

She also learned that he had other high profile affairs with six famous Tinsel Town actresses including [THE NAMES OF THE SIX ACTRESSES HAVE BEEN DELETED BY THE EDITOR].

Maria decided to write her own book to address some of the lies she said were mentioned in Mr. Schwarzenegger's book.

Her $19.95 book is titled Lying Arnold - My Book About My Cheating Husband Arnold Schwarzenegger's Book.

In chapter seven, Maria writes how even after they were married, Arnold still put up photos of male body builders all over the walls in their master bedroom, their kitchen, their game room, their bathrooms, and even in their guest rooms.

She also pointed out that she once caught Arnie drinking one of his high protein power drinks out of a baby bottle.

And the day that he confessed to her that he had gotten their maid pregnant 14 years before, he showed her a brand new tattoo that he had just gotten on his back that read Charlie Sheen.

SIDENOTE: Maria was asked if the rumor about her and Russell Brand being spotted holding hands and feeding each other pink cotton candy on the Santa Monica Pier last week was true. She giggled, blushed, and replied that she did not remember.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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