Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 29 September 2012

image for The Mob Doctor Could Be The Fall TV Season's First Casualty
Most mob doctors have a gun on their surgical instrument tray. (Photo by Antonio "Two Ton Tony" Goombalini).

HOLLYWOOD - The fall television season has kicked off with a bang and many TV critics and entertainment media reporters are already placing bets as to which 'newby' will be the season's first cancellation.

According to Wally "Da Numbers" Numbavecki, of the Las Vegas betting firm Hunches, many of the big bets are being placed on the Mob Doctor.

The premier show was viewed by 5 million viewers. The second installment was watched by 4 million viewers. And the third episode titled "Ey!" was viewed by a national audience of only 17,319 people.

The show which stars Jordana Spiro as Dr. Grace Devlin, a doctor who treats high profile mobsters, appears to be sinking quicker than a rival gumba in cement shoes.

Tittle Tattle Tonight's Tapioca Swizzle actually interviewed several real live mafioso bosses to get their professional opinion on the show.

The head of Brooklyn's Goombalini family, Salvatore Goombalini when asked to comment on the Mob Doctor replied, "I gotta my own doctor, Dr. Carmelo "The Knife" Picaletino and 'ey, he donta cost me nuthin."

Detroit crime boss Vinnie "Oregano Tongue" Cachatelli said "I watched da first episode and it looked likea bunch of actors horribly portraying a bunch of Mafia guys."

And Guido "Boom Boom" Tannagoosa head of Kansas City's Tannagoosa crime syndicate remarked "Itsa science fiction. Da mob doctors I know don't greet ju wiff a 'good morning' dey say, 'ey Boom Boom so tella me whatsa hurtin ya today's huh?"

SIDENOTE: An inside source has informed 3T that there is already talk among the television executives that Mob Doctor will probably be replaced by a spin-off of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo called Fifteen-Year-Old Jessica "Chubs" Shannon Moves In With Her Maternal Grandmother Velveeta.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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